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Like Night and Day 38
Chapter 38
Gears in Motion
“It’s just a sport. A hobby. What are you going to do with soccer?”
“I can play pro--”
“You think you’re going to make any money by trying to go pro? The chances of you making it doesn’t exist. It’s a pointless profession. It isn’t a career. It’s a hobby. This is just a hobby, nothing more. Don’t let it get to your head.”
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His room had never felt so dark. Even closing his eyes threw a tarp over him with a much lighter shade of black than his plain and boring rectangular room. Frowning, Kyungsoo glanced to his left, the screen of his phone illuminating the corner of the bedstand. He felt the throbbing of his head, his headache making simple tasks like reaching over a hassle. But he forced himself to do so anyways.
Squinting his eyes against the cell phone’s brightness, Kyungsoo clenched his jaw, swiping from the lock screen to pull up the message sent to him. The sender came to no surprise, though it was bitter seeing it written in plain text right before his own eyes. Growling, he rubbed his eyes before pulling up the keyboard to respond.
“Let’s go on a walk.”
Darting his eyes to the time, Kyungsoo drew his brows together. It was eleven thirty-six, but he was hardly the early sleeper and, to him, eleven thirty-six wasn’t late. If he truly wanted, he could. They’d done it before. Late walks off in directions Kyungsoo would sometimes be familiar with and wore him out, often leading to events that ended with his face crashing into his bed and waking up the next morning feeling refreshed, but jarring late in terms of his usual morning schedule.
Slowly, he began typing a rejection, but paused in the middle of his brief message. His vision blurred as his mind wandered elsewhere, bringing back a face that he knew well from memory. For a moment, Kyungsoo kept still, listening to the silence, being hyperaware of his solo existence in that room alone. Baekhyun wasn’t with him. The brunet wasn’t beside him, sleeping soundly or whimpering from nightmares. The soft edges of his face weren’t there, illuminated by moonlight, and Kyungsoo's bed was cold except from the warmth of his own body.
Baekhyun was a memory, faded and gone. His existence in that room belonged to the past, and the silence was the reminder.
Erasing what he had begun, Kyungsoo sent a simple word and pushed the covers off his body. The floorboards were cold, but he ignored the sensation as he walked to the window, pushing aside the curtains and pulling down the blinds.
Underneath the street light stood a figure, and it took no more than a second for Kyungsoo to roll his eyes and turn around. Throwing an old sweatshirt over his shirt and replacing his pajama pants for regular sweats,
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They kept a distance between each other, though Kyungsoo knew it wasn’t on purpose. It was just how they were, naturally repelled from one another like polar opposites bound to be apart. Cold, Kyungsoo had folded his arms, the cap on his head doing nothing to protect his reddening ears from the damning air.
Raising his head to the sound of the latter coughing, Kyungsoo scrunched his nose before turning his head forward, ignoring the way Jongin rubbed his face with the sleeve of his jacket. “If you’re sick, it would’ve been smart to stay home.”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“And you thought that appearing outside my house would be the alternative to your little case of insomnia?” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. “It was on your stroke of luck that I was still awake, finishing paperwork.”
“Paperwork for what?”
Kyungsoo shrugged. “Confidential material within the student body. Nothing that concerns you--technically.”
“Hn.” Kicking a stone near his feet, Jongin glanced over at the student body president. “Guess you already know they got back together... I don’t think they ever broke up, but I saw Byun sitting outside the gym waiting for him like usual. Must be fun being you, playing your little games of destruction, but at this point, it’s time to open your eyes. It’s not going to work.”
“You’re wrong,” Kyungsoo muttered. “On the surface, they have the appearance of adhesive molecules that can’t be separated from each other, but no. Something’s happening.”
“And what is that?”
“Baekhyun’s falling behind and Chanyeol’s growing blind and ignorant.” Glancing up at the sky, Kyungsoo sighed. His shoulders slanted, relaxed but heavy. “When you constantly stare down at the dirt-- the little things--don’t you think you’re missing the bigger picture that you can only see when your eyes are directed upwards? Because that’s Park’s flaw. He notices Baekhyun so much, he’s not noticing him at all.”
Jongin walked silently at Kyungsoo’s mild pace, combing his hair loosely with his rough fingers. “Let me ask you something. What exactly do you want out of this?”
“Specify what you mean.”
“What do you want?” Jongin asked, his voice hard, but not demanding. “Do you want them to break up? Do you want Byun to leave him? Or would you rather have Chanyeol be the one to leave? And aside from that, I know you’ve said that you’re in love with him, but are you really? I’m beginning to doubt, Kyungsoo, that what you have is less of love and more of nostalgia for the past. It wouldn’t be love either way because if you really loved him, rather than try and take him from someone who makes him happy, you’d be supportive even if it hurt you to do so.”
Clenching his jaw, Kyungsoo turned his head to the soccer captain. “I’ve already resigned myself from him,” he spat. “I’ve already accepted that he’s in love with that stupid, stupidboy who can’t even see the bitch clawing her way into his boyfriend’s head. I couldn't care less if they broke up or not. I’m not out to crack what’ll eventually collapse on its own. And for the record, Baekhyun would never leave him… When it happens, it’ll be Park cutting the final string binding them together.”
“Then what’s the point of playing games? If you don’t want him and you don't give a shit about the status of their relationship, then why are you telling Byun lies?”
“I don’t lie to him. I never lie to him.” Kyungsoo paused. “He’s the only person in this world that I care for. My parents could die. The graduating class could die. Hell, you could even die. And yet… I wouldn’t bat my eyes or give an absolute shit. But Baekhyun’s different. He’s the only person I’d mourn for… When you’re close to someone, Jongin, you share yourself. Not just your time, but who you are. My secrets, my problems, my life, my body… I’ve shared all of those with him. You can spend your whole life with people and never connect with a single individual. Baekhyun may not be my boyfriend anymore. My love for him may just nostalgia. It doesn’t matter.”
“You know what this sounds like, don’t you?” Jongin cocked his head. “I think I get it now. You’re protecting him like a psycho because he’s partof you. This is interesting, Kyungsoo, because I have a question--”
“You ask too many,” Kyungsoo interrupted, glaring.
Ignoring him, Jongin went on. “Does Park remind you of anyone?”
“Why the hell would he--”
“Think,” Jongin insisted. “Regardless of whether or not you hate him, you can’t deny the fact that he gives a damn about Byun. What kind of playboy would stay up on the goddamn phone at one or two in the morning even when he’s half-asleep just to keep his anti-social boyfriend company? To make sure he’s not feeling alone? What kind of stereotypical jock would go through so much shit for one person when he’s got girls lined up somewhere just for a--”
“Get to your point. You’re rambling on irrelevant details--”
“It’s not irrelevant.” Jongin shook his head. “At some point, when you saw them together, you started seeing something. Patterns. It started feeling like deja vu. I know you have a fear of people leaving. I know what the hell goes on in your dysfunctional family despite how hard you try to seem so perfect and porcelain. But you said that Baekhyun’s like a part of you… If he’s a part of you, then who does Chanyeol remind you of?”
“This is fucking stupid,” Kyungsoo spat, unfolding his arms as he walked faster. “He doesn’t remind me of anyone. I’ve never seen a kid more blind and stupid in my life.”
“Baekhyun. He reminds you of Baekhyun.” Jongin stopped when Kyungsoo ceased walking. “If you think about it--”
“What in the hellare you fucking on?” Kyungsoo turned around, scowling at him. “You bitch about my smoking habits. Should I give it right back to you and bitch about drug use? What kind of shit’s floating around the damn soccer club nowadays?”
“Kyungsoo--”
“Park Chanyeol reminds me nobody, Jongin.” Shoving a finger against the captain’s test, Kyungsoo shook his head, adamant and clear. “I appreciate your concern some days. Others not. But when your lunacy is above and beyond, I will not fucking deal with it. Understand?”
“It’s not lunacy,” Jongin responded, taking the hand and forcing it down. “You complain about Chanyeol’s blindness to whatever’s making Byun suffer. Don’t you think you’re redirecting your frustration from Baekhyun onto him?”
“You’re not--”
“Baekhyun loved you. I get it. You never told me your entire story together, but I gathered as much,” Jongin started, his eyes hitting Kyungsoo hard. “Then you changed. You kept to yourself, you quit soccer... Baekhyun saw these changes, but he never knew why. He was blindto the reasons why you had begun to change, just like how Chanyeol’s blind to Baekhyun’s problems now. I bet watching them is like watching a rerun of what happened between you two. You want to keep Baekhyun safe because he’s in the shoes you were in before. He’s the one keeping secrets now, and whether he knows it or not, he wantsChanyeol to know what’s wrong without having to face him...”
“You’re wrong,” Kyungsoo muttered. “That’s not it at all.”
“You can fool any idiot off the street, any administrator at school...anybody. But not me.” Jongin pushed him away, creating distance between them once again. “You said that an individual can’t see the bigger picture if they’re too inclined to stare at the small details. I agree. You’re focused on so many other things that you’re missing the point. Move on, Kyungsoo… Let them make their own mistakes. If they turn out to be just like you and Baekhyun, fine. If they get married some day and decide to adopt kids, great. What matters is you. You don’t lie, but you manipulate, trying to act like God, trying to act like some herowhen you’re not. Let Chanyeol be blind and let Baekhyun get hurt if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. They’ll figure it out.”
“No, they won’t. They never do.” Kyungsoo diverted his eyes away. “Humans can’t get anything right. We always need pointers, hints and directions, and we’re so pitiful. People rely on tarot card readings. Fools invest in psychics. We all want to know the future-- desperateand stupid. However, when we’re given an insight on the future, when we seethe signs of inevitable decay and collapse, then it’s only right to manipulate the pattern to avoid the tragedy.”
“No. It’s not.” Jongin pointed at the sky. “Every morning, you see the way the sky turns purple, then red, following orange and yellow. Every day, you see the signs of dawn, but you can’t manipulate it. You can’t take away the sun and create night.”
“Your point is very far reaching--”
“Everyone knows that the Earth is doomed. In a billion years, the sun will either engulf this planet in its heat or leave everything to fry. But no one can stop that from happening despite the clear indications that it willhappen.” Putting his hand down, Jongin gave the student body president a look of solidarity. “Continue helping him with whatever is going on. Be angry at Chanyeol's incompetence. But they’re not dolls. You can’t control them. You can’t control how their story will go. The only thing you have control over in this world is yourself. Don’t inflate your ego with the power you have as president or whatever job title you’ll receive in the future. It won’t change the fact that at the end of the day, you’re looking for control over things you have no right being involved with. So if you’re looking for control, Kyungsoo...start with your own life.”
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“Baekhyun?”
“What?”
Chanyeol sat up on the bed, watching the brunet’s turned back. He pushed aside the environmental magazine that he had been using to occupy himself while he tried to be patient. Though the article about the dangers of hydraulic fracking on the water well was interesting, it wasn’t enough to keep his mind from wandering.
“So… I know that you’re not really into school and all that stuff--”
“Yep.” Baekhyun kept his pencil moving, though his attention was split leaning more on Chanyeol’s voice. “Or else I wouldn’t have to play the catch-up game right now…”
“Right! But, I just wanted to know, like…” Chanyeol stopped for a brief moment before continuing on. “On a scale from zero to ten, what would the chances be for…I don’t know, prom?”
“Ten.”
“Ten!?”Chanyeol’s mouth hung open . His ears were in disbelief, heart racing from over-ecstaticness, but before he could even begin his entire parade of joy, Baekhyun stopped what he was doing and turned his chair around, killing it.
“Regardless of anything, prom’s going to happen, so it's without a question that the chances of it happening would be ten out of ten.” Leaning against the back of the seat, Baekhyun tilted his head, staring blankly at the confused player. “Of course, if you’re asking me about what your chances are of taking me to a school event funded by the school for a safe, alcohol-free experience, then I would say...three. You have a thirty-percent chance of getting me to go.”
With his shoulders slumped, Chanyeol drew his lips into a thin line. “I want this high school experience with you.”
“Chanyeol, they sell the idea of prom off for profit.” Baekhyun sighed. “They tell you that it’s a once in a lifetime high school experience. You buy into it and happily drink cheap punch served in a plastic bowl with plastic cups unaware that you’ve been swindled by adults and the entire industry that feeds off this mundane tradition.”
Shrugging, Chanyeol looked down at his feet which he kept planted to the floor. “Maybe I just need an excuse to see you dressed to kill. That, and maybe I want to have a reason to dance with you in front of other people, to let them see how good you look against me, in my arms like it’s nobody’s business but ours.”
“I don’t dance, Chanyeol...and it really isn’t anyone’s business, so I don’t want to show anything off like it’s some kind of circus.”
“I don’t dance, either!” Chanyeol replied. “And that’s the thing. We’ll just be two untalented dancers on the dance floor. I might kiss you on the forehead accidentally--or not-- and we may take photos in some photo booth where you’ll kiss me on the lips just in time for the camera to capture that moment forever.”
Laughing, Baekhyun shook his head, his hand trying to cover his mouth, which his boyfriend didn’t like. “You’re very...deep into this tradition, Chanyeol. Far too many movie cliches.”
“But that’s all I want,” Chanyeol said, standing up just to pull Baekhyun’s chair closer to the bed before sitting back down on the mattress. “I want cliches with you.”
“Really.”
“Really.” Taking Baekhyun’s hands in his, Chanyeol held them gently but firmly. “Three out of ten is nice, but make it fair, at least… Seven out of ten.”
“Four.”
“Six.”
“Zero.”
“That’s the complete opposite of what I want,” Chanyeol huffed. “Fine. Four--but you have to listen to my reasons and try to think about it. Really. I want to pick you up and take pictures, too. It’s a hassle, but at least one day I can say I danced with my high school sweetheart all night--”
“Gross--”
“Not gross. Nice. Just like how it’s nice to kiss and talk with each other for fun.” Cocking his head, Chanyeol glanced down at the brunet’s hands. Usually soft and smooth, it bore some cuts, both old and new. It wasn’t a good sight for the giant. “You’ve been working a lot, too… You don’t even sleep or eat anymore. I just want to see you have fun for once--with me, of course. I’ll take you out to dinner, make sure you eat, and then after prom, I can drop you off and kiss you good-night. That or you spend the night at my house and just chill out, maybe make out, who knows…”
“You’re entirely too hopeful for me,” Baekhyun said softly. He pulled his hands away, but leaned in to kiss the latter on the cheek before pushing himself back to his desk. “And you’re too much of a romantic. It’s kind of funny in a sad way… But, okay. Do what you have to do to convince me. I’ll think about it seriously. I promise. Right now, however, isn’t a good time. I have work to finish if you want to see me in a white gown.”
“Baekhyun, I don’t plan on marrying you just yet,” Chanyeol teased, grinning widely.
“ Graduation gown,” Baekhyun amended, flustered as he turned his chair back around. “But anyways, this conversation’s over… Find something to do while I try to get these done.”
“I already finished my homework, though… Ah, I know. I’ll start making my list of reasons.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Thanks. And if luck won’t help, I’ll just try and kiss you into saying yes. Works pretty well from my experience.”
“Be quiet, Chanyeol...”
a/n: happy prom bad prom sad prom :^) who knows
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Aaddjfda, I would really love it if Kyungsoo could just cut his shit and tell Chanyeol what is happening with Baekhyun and the notes, help him instead of playing those stupid games. I wanna kill him *dies*
P.D.: Can't wait for prom!!!
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Omfg..ahhhh i really hope nothing bad happens in prom. Ugh and Kyungsoo needs to stop with his shit already. .lol
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ASDKFJGIWOEMCOAMSK
I hope Kyungsoo stop his shit, he should give some information to Chanyeol, Yeol has big ears and eyes, he must know everything :s I just want chanbaek to have a so fucking happy ending.
Soo need to kill that bitch, I know is Nana, no? Kyung was investigated her in the previous chapters. And Kai is doing a good job talking in that way to Soo, someday they'll kiss each other(?)
I want a happy prom, not sad, not bad. Just happy and sweet as fuck :( I'm telling you in case you didn't notice it :( :( :( :(
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kyungsoo, please Lord, get over yourself! hopefully he'll realize that jongin in ultimately trying to help HIM fix himself instead of trying to 'fix' others.
hopefully it's a happy prom but something's telling me you have something up your sleeve. it's not gonna be so smooth i think, but that's only what i think
can't wait for the next update!
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Alright i'll prepare myself
Anyway i love that it was kaisoo scene but i got chanbaek feelings in my stomach
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The suspense ia killing me!!!Well,not yet...I have to see what will happen at the prom!! Jongin,I salute you!!! Soo, if u want to avoid history from happening by itself go and tell chanyeol already! Hehe
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With me
Jongin should have said that lol can't wait for prom omg why do i have bad feeling about it ;;
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