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Hairy Tales: Byun Baekzel
Title: Hairy Tales: Byun Baekzel [1/x]
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun
Summary: A long, twisted tale of black, coarse hair.
Gallop. Gallop. Gallop.
The strong horse rode. Prince Chanyeol was leaning forward as if he couldn’t wait for his destiny. Suddenly, a tall, twisted tower came into view and the dark horse came to a halt.
“Nay!”
Chanyeol slapped his horse’s ass. “Nay nay! Tis yay!”
Jumping off his horse, Chanyeol fixed his pantaloons and fixed the feather in his hat before tossing the hat away in the end. Holding his pants up with his gloved hands, Chanyeol took in a deep breath and yelled, “Fair maiden! I have come!”
And no response.
“Nay!”
“Nay nay! Tis yay!” Chanyeol angrily snapped at the defiant and sassy horse that he had meant to sell the week before for her constant objections. He forgot all too well what he needed to say in order to gain the maiden’s attention, but when he looked up at the tower, he saw a little brown head stick out. Then he remembered the magic words.
Throwing his hands up to the sky, Chanyeol joyously cried, “Baekhyun! Baekhyun! Let down thy pubic braid!”
As if in slow motion, a long braid of thick, black, and rough pubic hair came down, landing with a thud on the very ground Chanyeol stood on. Without hesitation, the prince held onto the hair and began to climb. On the way up, he found many items, things that he recognized and put into his pockets until he reached the window where his precious brown headed maiden stood with a happy look on his face.
“Baekhyun, Baekhyun, thou pubic braid...Tis always a splendid joy in my heart to climb up thou tower.”
Blushing, Baekhyun held his arms open for a hug. It didn’t matter to the prince how Baekhyun’s bottom half was naked. He saw no genitals as pubic bush covered everything.
“Chanyeol, my prince. I’m glad you’ve come. Tis been a lonely life without thou.”
With his heart full of love, Chanyeol pulled out the items that he found and stuck inside his pockets. “Love. Look at what I discovered amongst your beautiful hair. Combs. Lots and lots of combs.”
Gleefully running over to take the combs in his hands, Baekhyun let out a sob as he hugged and reminisced. “Why, I haven’t seen many of these in ages!” he cried. “I remember, I received this when I was only seven years of age! I must have lost it in my hair.”
“Tis very understandable, my love. Even I find myself lost inside of you.”
Pulling Chanyeol down, Baekhyun gave him a hug. “You mustn’t say such indecent things, love. We are yet to be wed.”
Slumping his shoulders, the prince frowned. “When shall you leave this tower? Surely I cannot wed you in such a tiny tower.”
“I cannot leave, Chanyeol. I cannot leave as you who climb down the hairs of my groin. I cannot!” Baekhyun said sadly. “I must stay here until my keeper comes and leaves me be.”
Chanyeol became angry. “I shall find a way to wed you beyond this tower! I shall! No tower shall be our setting for when I lay my kiss upon you and no bare walls shall be the witness of our consummation. You shall live a life beyond this tower if it is the last thing I shall do!”
“I love thee, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sobbed before he placed a kiss on the prince’s cheek. “I love thee til the black death do us part.”
Nodding, Chanyeol accepted the chaste kiss before walking to the window again and began making his way down. “I shall return. Bear my love.”
“I shall.”
“Good-bye.”
“Good-bye.”
Chanyeol slid too quickly down, hissing as he received pubic burns.
a/n: dont look at me
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun
Summary: A long, twisted tale of black, coarse hair.
Gallop. Gallop. Gallop.
The strong horse rode. Prince Chanyeol was leaning forward as if he couldn’t wait for his destiny. Suddenly, a tall, twisted tower came into view and the dark horse came to a halt.
“Nay!”
Chanyeol slapped his horse’s ass. “Nay nay! Tis yay!”
Jumping off his horse, Chanyeol fixed his pantaloons and fixed the feather in his hat before tossing the hat away in the end. Holding his pants up with his gloved hands, Chanyeol took in a deep breath and yelled, “Fair maiden! I have come!”
And no response.
“Nay!”
“Nay nay! Tis yay!” Chanyeol angrily snapped at the defiant and sassy horse that he had meant to sell the week before for her constant objections. He forgot all too well what he needed to say in order to gain the maiden’s attention, but when he looked up at the tower, he saw a little brown head stick out. Then he remembered the magic words.
Throwing his hands up to the sky, Chanyeol joyously cried, “Baekhyun! Baekhyun! Let down thy pubic braid!”
As if in slow motion, a long braid of thick, black, and rough pubic hair came down, landing with a thud on the very ground Chanyeol stood on. Without hesitation, the prince held onto the hair and began to climb. On the way up, he found many items, things that he recognized and put into his pockets until he reached the window where his precious brown headed maiden stood with a happy look on his face.
“Baekhyun, Baekhyun, thou pubic braid...Tis always a splendid joy in my heart to climb up thou tower.”
Blushing, Baekhyun held his arms open for a hug. It didn’t matter to the prince how Baekhyun’s bottom half was naked. He saw no genitals as pubic bush covered everything.
“Chanyeol, my prince. I’m glad you’ve come. Tis been a lonely life without thou.”
With his heart full of love, Chanyeol pulled out the items that he found and stuck inside his pockets. “Love. Look at what I discovered amongst your beautiful hair. Combs. Lots and lots of combs.”
Gleefully running over to take the combs in his hands, Baekhyun let out a sob as he hugged and reminisced. “Why, I haven’t seen many of these in ages!” he cried. “I remember, I received this when I was only seven years of age! I must have lost it in my hair.”
“Tis very understandable, my love. Even I find myself lost inside of you.”
Pulling Chanyeol down, Baekhyun gave him a hug. “You mustn’t say such indecent things, love. We are yet to be wed.”
Slumping his shoulders, the prince frowned. “When shall you leave this tower? Surely I cannot wed you in such a tiny tower.”
“I cannot leave, Chanyeol. I cannot leave as you who climb down the hairs of my groin. I cannot!” Baekhyun said sadly. “I must stay here until my keeper comes and leaves me be.”
Chanyeol became angry. “I shall find a way to wed you beyond this tower! I shall! No tower shall be our setting for when I lay my kiss upon you and no bare walls shall be the witness of our consummation. You shall live a life beyond this tower if it is the last thing I shall do!”
“I love thee, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sobbed before he placed a kiss on the prince’s cheek. “I love thee til the black death do us part.”
Nodding, Chanyeol accepted the chaste kiss before walking to the window again and began making his way down. “I shall return. Bear my love.”
“I shall.”
“Good-bye.”
“Good-bye.”
Chanyeol slid too quickly down, hissing as he received pubic burns.
a/n: dont look at me
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The.
Fuck.
Did I just read..
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. . .
. . .
. . .
Well. . .
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will you add something like this to 'chanyeol travels in the past to kill a chicken'?
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...........
I was so close from throwing my phone against the wall
Like, my poor eyes........
*stares at you and judging hard*
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Here goes my sanity..
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Hilarious!!!
Part two!!!!!
Give it to me bby
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Speechless
.
.
WHAT??
Pubic Braid!!!!!
OMG...
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LOL
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.