![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
The Letter 33
Chapter 33
Black Waters
An hour and a half passed since the confrontation and Luhan was left alone in the apartment. Xiumin gave up trying to re-stabilize his roommate and went out to buy groceries for dinner that night, which he thought he’d do to lift some weight off of Luhan’s shoulders.
Luhan’s body was pushed against the sofa for about half the time that Xiumin was gone when his phone rang in his pocket. Being used to it being Sehun, Luhan took the chance and took the phone out, only to be deflated in hope when he saw that it wasn’t Sehun, but rather, Baekhyun.
He answered it, trying to lift his tone. “Hey, Baek!”
“Hey, Luhan,” Baekhyun said in a more down tone. “I was, um…I was wondering if you knew Sehun?”
Luhan paused. “Ah, yeah…”
“Okay, well, the help at his house called Chanyeol a while ago because they say he just left looking like he was running away—” Luhan blinked. Sehun did have a backpack…“—Chanyeol went over to his house cause he was looking for the drugs, but when he found Sehun’s secret space, there was nothing in there.”
“Wait—drugs?” Luhan said into the phone incredulously
“—yeah… Anyways, Chanyeol’s worried that he might’ve gone to take the rest somewhere else.”
Luhan gripped the phone. “Why are you telling me this, Baek?”
“Cause your name’s the last thing he said before passing out last night.”
Sehun looked at the sight below his feet. Water. He scoffed and leaned back on his hands, enjoying the sight of the lit up city in the dark. He was cold, but his jacket kept him warm enough, though his ears had gone red.
Glancing to his left and his right, Sehun was surprised no one in the slow-as-fuck traffic jumped out of their vehicles with the presumption that he was out to kill himself. He figured that no in the world gave a shit about caring anymore. He only quirked his lips at the thought.
How long he had been sitting there? Sehun forgot. He just knew that he found the setting sun to be quite a sight and decided to sit on the wide concrete structure with the black, angry tides under him by a few hundred meters. Other people might’ve been scared, but Sehun was used to the threat of uncertainty already, so he didn’t mind so much.
He was in silence for a while, listening to the cars behind him honk and move. Then, he remembered something. The backpack that he had was one that he would frequently use when he’d spend a weekend in the forest with some out-of-school friends to smoke.
Sehun shrugged the bag off his shoulders and rustled around in its smallest pocket. As he expected, he felt a small rolled-up joint in there. Perfect…Sehun took it out and searched for a lighter in another pocket, which didn’t take long. Afterwards, he put his backpack back on his shoulders.
He flicked the lighter, causing a flame to appear. With his other hand, he took the butt of the joint and burnt it. He took the unlit part to his lips and paused just before taking it to his mouth. Was it smart to smoke one, sitting on a bridge, one mistake away from falling? Eh—Sehun shrugged. He took the joint and slowly inhaled. He held it in as long as he could before he exhaled, feeling a bit better.
Even though the small drug made him feel better, looking at it, Sehun knew that it wasn’t anything compared to that bastard. He hated that, but at the moment, if this was what Sehun had and what he could have at the moment, hell, he was gonna take it. But, like all the things in his life, this small pleasure was taken away from him, too.
“Get the fuck off of there.”
Sehun froze. He turned his body around and was struck to see Luhan—badly dressed and messy haired. “Excuse me?”
“You fucking heard me,” Luhan growled. He was scowling, but he was breathing quite harshly, making it obvious that he was more scared than angry. He moved closer to Sehun, looking up at the brat. “Now get down.”
“Tch.” Sehun gave Luhan a sneering look. “Who cares?—What the fuck are you doing here anyways? Shouldn’t you be off fucking that new boyfriend of yours?”
Luhan winced. “He’s not my boyfriend—Yah! What the hell is that? Are you getting high on top of a freaking bridge!?”
“Well, what if I am?” Sehun said, indifferently. Then he thought. “What do you mean not? Weren’t you shoving that boyfriend shit in my face two hours ago?”
“I’ll answer your questions if you stop threatening to kill yourself.”
Sehun looked at Luhan and studied his face. “When the hell was I threatening to kill myself?”
“You’re on a bridge, getting high. What the hell am I supposed to think?” Luhan growled. His hands were growing cold despite being clenched so tightly at his sides. He shoved them in his pockets.
“I wouldn’t kill myself like this,” Sehun said. “Why would I commit suicide when there’s a whole load of bitches to fuck out there in the world?”
Luhan’s lips thinned. His patience was growing thin, but so was his heart. “Then get off of there if you wanna be alive when you get these bitches of yours.”
“Ah, but that’s the problem,” Sehun said bitterly, waving around the hand that held the joint. “I don’t want bitches. I want a bitch.”
“Then come down and go get one!” Luhan cried.
“I can’t because you won’t let me fucking have you!” Sehun cried, raising his voice noticeably higher. He cursed, but didn’t break his gaze at Luhan.
Luhan gulped. He felt as though his mouth had suddenly gone dry. “Come down,” he said, lifting his arms, “and I’ll let you have me.”
Sehun moved an inch before catching himself. “I don’t want your body…” he said in a harsh whisper before returning his volume to normal. “All I’ve been getting from you is your body and that’s the only thing you’ve ever offered to me. I want more.”
Luhan blinked. “Sehun—”
“I want answers. I want to know why.” Sehun paused. “I want you. Not just your body, Luhan, you know this. I want you to be mine. I wanna know your secrets. I want to know every single part of you, but I guess I’m just asking too much for you to give, aren’t I?”
Luhan hated the bitterness in Sehun’s voice, but nevertheless, he shook his head. “No.” Luhan sighed and put his arms down. “No, you’re not. You’re not asking for too much. You’re in the right,” Luhan mumbled, admitting the fact that everything Sehun asked for was well-deserved.
Sehun was thrown off by Luhan—basically—admitting that everything he just said was reasonable. “What?”
“I just said that you’re right! You deserve answers.”
“Just answers?” Sehun pushed.
“And more.”
“Like…?” Sehun’s ears were pierced on Luhan’s upcoming words. When Luhan fidgeted, obviously having issues saying the rest of Sehun’s request, Sehun sighed harshly, throwing the joint in the waters then jumped off the structure, back on stable grounds.
The impact of his shoes made Luhan snap his head back up, surprised to see that Sehun was suddenly in front of him, on the ground, off the ledge.
“Finish telling me what I deserve,” Sehun demanded.
Luhan bit his lips and lowered his head. “Me.”
Sehun forced Luhan to meet his gaze. “Do you really get it or are you just feeding me bullshit again?”
“I’m being serious.”
Brushing a thumb on Luhan’s cheek, Sehun asked, “So you’ll tell me everything?”
Luhan nodded. “If that’ll keep you from doing stupid shit like this again.”
Sehun raised a brow. “If I had known that all it took for you to come around was me sitting on a bridge, smoking, then I would’ve done this a long time ago.”
Luhan gave Sehun a dark frown. “You—If I fucking hear about you high as fuck on pills and that shit, again, I’ll throw you over a fucking bridge myself.”
“Throw me over one once you give me those answers.”
Luhan stared at him for a moment before sighing. He pivoted on his heel, heading back to the cab he left in the traffic jam. “Let’s go back to the apartment, then. I’ll—”
“What about that guy?” Sehun asked, walking to catch up.
“Who? Xiumin? He’ll be fine. We’re just going to talk anyways.”
Sehun grabbed Luhan by the hand. “Yeah, okay. We’ll talk, but what if things escalate?”
“Escalate to what? Fighting?” Luhan asked, turning his head to give Sehun a look.
“Sex.”
“Excuse me?” Luhan stopped walking.
“You heard me,” Sehun said, leaving his voice to ring in Luhan’s ears. Shaking his head, Luhan gulped, but before he could talk, Sehun began to drag his body. “Let’s go to a hotel to do this. You’re not leaving a single detail out, either, ‘cause I’m done with your half answers.”
Luhan felt his pulse race. He made a half-ass attempt to reason. “I…I don’t have enough money for a room, Sehun.”
Sehun turned his head to his cornered prey. “Luckily for you, I do.”
As part of the on-going actions of his parents through guilt, Baekhyun received money and permission to go to Lotte World over the weekend with a friend. He, at first, didn’t wanna go. He had work to do from the days that he was absent and wanted to get those out of the way, but his parents kept nagging at him to “have fun” and to “let loose” for once. Baekhyun could only keep his mouth shut. His parents had no idea…
The first choice of a friend was Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo was busy. Baekhyun felt like killing Kai—even though Kyungsoo never specified why he was busy, Baekhyun already knew. The second choice was Suho, but he kindly decline saying how he needed to study during the weekend. Baekhyun fumed. He needed to do school-related work too, but apparently, to his parents, his social life was more important. Okay.
Chanyeol was his third option. Why third? Baekhyun didn’t wanna seem too brash. He already had the entire scenario planned out in his head. He’d walk up to the idiot, tell him what was happening, and casually ask if he wanted to go. Then, the idiot would say—
“Sorry, Baek,” Chanyeol said, giving Baekhyun a sad smile. “My parents are coming back from China this weekend. I have to go meet with them and do all this stupid shit.” When he saw Baekhyun’s features twitch, Chanyeol was quick to lift his vixen’s face up to his. “Sad that we won’t be able to fuck it out in the restroom at that amusement park?”
Baekhyun frowned and pulled his face away from Chanyeol’s hold. “Gross.” He sighed. “Never mind, I’ll go ask someone else.”
“As long as it’s not Lay, Baek.”
“Yeah, okay,” Baekhyun said.
“I’m serious.”
“Okay.”
From: Baekhyun
Hey.
From: Lay
Hey, there. What’s going on?
From: Baekhyun
So, this weekend, are you free?
From: Lay
Yep. If I’m not, I could clear it for you.
From: Baekhyun
Well, if you’re free, I was wondering if you wanted to go to that amusement park with me—Lotte World, you know.
From: Lay
I’ve been there a billion times before.
Baekhyun stared at the text feeling awkward. He was about to apologize, but he got a second text.
From: Lay
But it’s always better going with someone just for the hell of it. Why not? I’m in.
From: Baekhyun
Really? Cool.
Baekhyun felt stupid with his reply. He felt lame. Eh…
From: Lay
So is this like a date? Are we going behind Park’s back? ;)
Baekhyun fumbled with his fingers.
From: Lay
I’m kidding, Byun. Haha, we’re just going as friends, I know. But I’m serious about that Park thing. He doesn’t know, does he?
From: Baekhyun
Eh, he won’t know. Besides, my parents said I should take a friend. You’re a friend, aren’t you?
It took a while for Baekhyun to get a reply. Odd as it was since Lay always answered immediately.
From: Lay
Do you really consider me to be a friend?
From: Baekhyun
Yeah.
From: Lay
Thanks, Byun. So I’ll be seeing you this weekend, then.
From: Baekhyun
Get up early. We’re getting there the moment they open.
From: Lay
Gotcha.
From: Baekhyun
Ok. I’m gonna go to bed, now. You should do the same.
From: Lay
Night.
From: Baekhyun
Ok.
Baekhyun stared at the sent text. He wrote the “Ok” automatically and nothing registered in his mind that he should’ve replied with a “Good-night” instead.
Black Waters
An hour and a half passed since the confrontation and Luhan was left alone in the apartment. Xiumin gave up trying to re-stabilize his roommate and went out to buy groceries for dinner that night, which he thought he’d do to lift some weight off of Luhan’s shoulders.
Luhan’s body was pushed against the sofa for about half the time that Xiumin was gone when his phone rang in his pocket. Being used to it being Sehun, Luhan took the chance and took the phone out, only to be deflated in hope when he saw that it wasn’t Sehun, but rather, Baekhyun.
He answered it, trying to lift his tone. “Hey, Baek!”
“Hey, Luhan,” Baekhyun said in a more down tone. “I was, um…I was wondering if you knew Sehun?”
Luhan paused. “Ah, yeah…”
“Okay, well, the help at his house called Chanyeol a while ago because they say he just left looking like he was running away—” Luhan blinked. Sehun did have a backpack…“—Chanyeol went over to his house cause he was looking for the drugs, but when he found Sehun’s secret space, there was nothing in there.”
“Wait—drugs?” Luhan said into the phone incredulously
“—yeah… Anyways, Chanyeol’s worried that he might’ve gone to take the rest somewhere else.”
Luhan gripped the phone. “Why are you telling me this, Baek?”
“Cause your name’s the last thing he said before passing out last night.”
Sehun looked at the sight below his feet. Water. He scoffed and leaned back on his hands, enjoying the sight of the lit up city in the dark. He was cold, but his jacket kept him warm enough, though his ears had gone red.
Glancing to his left and his right, Sehun was surprised no one in the slow-as-fuck traffic jumped out of their vehicles with the presumption that he was out to kill himself. He figured that no in the world gave a shit about caring anymore. He only quirked his lips at the thought.
How long he had been sitting there? Sehun forgot. He just knew that he found the setting sun to be quite a sight and decided to sit on the wide concrete structure with the black, angry tides under him by a few hundred meters. Other people might’ve been scared, but Sehun was used to the threat of uncertainty already, so he didn’t mind so much.
He was in silence for a while, listening to the cars behind him honk and move. Then, he remembered something. The backpack that he had was one that he would frequently use when he’d spend a weekend in the forest with some out-of-school friends to smoke.
Sehun shrugged the bag off his shoulders and rustled around in its smallest pocket. As he expected, he felt a small rolled-up joint in there. Perfect…Sehun took it out and searched for a lighter in another pocket, which didn’t take long. Afterwards, he put his backpack back on his shoulders.
He flicked the lighter, causing a flame to appear. With his other hand, he took the butt of the joint and burnt it. He took the unlit part to his lips and paused just before taking it to his mouth. Was it smart to smoke one, sitting on a bridge, one mistake away from falling? Eh—Sehun shrugged. He took the joint and slowly inhaled. He held it in as long as he could before he exhaled, feeling a bit better.
Even though the small drug made him feel better, looking at it, Sehun knew that it wasn’t anything compared to that bastard. He hated that, but at the moment, if this was what Sehun had and what he could have at the moment, hell, he was gonna take it. But, like all the things in his life, this small pleasure was taken away from him, too.
“Get the fuck off of there.”
Sehun froze. He turned his body around and was struck to see Luhan—badly dressed and messy haired. “Excuse me?”
“You fucking heard me,” Luhan growled. He was scowling, but he was breathing quite harshly, making it obvious that he was more scared than angry. He moved closer to Sehun, looking up at the brat. “Now get down.”
“Tch.” Sehun gave Luhan a sneering look. “Who cares?—What the fuck are you doing here anyways? Shouldn’t you be off fucking that new boyfriend of yours?”
Luhan winced. “He’s not my boyfriend—Yah! What the hell is that? Are you getting high on top of a freaking bridge!?”
“Well, what if I am?” Sehun said, indifferently. Then he thought. “What do you mean not? Weren’t you shoving that boyfriend shit in my face two hours ago?”
“I’ll answer your questions if you stop threatening to kill yourself.”
Sehun looked at Luhan and studied his face. “When the hell was I threatening to kill myself?”
“You’re on a bridge, getting high. What the hell am I supposed to think?” Luhan growled. His hands were growing cold despite being clenched so tightly at his sides. He shoved them in his pockets.
“I wouldn’t kill myself like this,” Sehun said. “Why would I commit suicide when there’s a whole load of bitches to fuck out there in the world?”
Luhan’s lips thinned. His patience was growing thin, but so was his heart. “Then get off of there if you wanna be alive when you get these bitches of yours.”
“Ah, but that’s the problem,” Sehun said bitterly, waving around the hand that held the joint. “I don’t want bitches. I want a bitch.”
“Then come down and go get one!” Luhan cried.
“I can’t because you won’t let me fucking have you!” Sehun cried, raising his voice noticeably higher. He cursed, but didn’t break his gaze at Luhan.
Luhan gulped. He felt as though his mouth had suddenly gone dry. “Come down,” he said, lifting his arms, “and I’ll let you have me.”
Sehun moved an inch before catching himself. “I don’t want your body…” he said in a harsh whisper before returning his volume to normal. “All I’ve been getting from you is your body and that’s the only thing you’ve ever offered to me. I want more.”
Luhan blinked. “Sehun—”
“I want answers. I want to know why.” Sehun paused. “I want you. Not just your body, Luhan, you know this. I want you to be mine. I wanna know your secrets. I want to know every single part of you, but I guess I’m just asking too much for you to give, aren’t I?”
Luhan hated the bitterness in Sehun’s voice, but nevertheless, he shook his head. “No.” Luhan sighed and put his arms down. “No, you’re not. You’re not asking for too much. You’re in the right,” Luhan mumbled, admitting the fact that everything Sehun asked for was well-deserved.
Sehun was thrown off by Luhan—basically—admitting that everything he just said was reasonable. “What?”
“I just said that you’re right! You deserve answers.”
“Just answers?” Sehun pushed.
“And more.”
“Like…?” Sehun’s ears were pierced on Luhan’s upcoming words. When Luhan fidgeted, obviously having issues saying the rest of Sehun’s request, Sehun sighed harshly, throwing the joint in the waters then jumped off the structure, back on stable grounds.
The impact of his shoes made Luhan snap his head back up, surprised to see that Sehun was suddenly in front of him, on the ground, off the ledge.
“Finish telling me what I deserve,” Sehun demanded.
Luhan bit his lips and lowered his head. “Me.”
Sehun forced Luhan to meet his gaze. “Do you really get it or are you just feeding me bullshit again?”
“I’m being serious.”
Brushing a thumb on Luhan’s cheek, Sehun asked, “So you’ll tell me everything?”
Luhan nodded. “If that’ll keep you from doing stupid shit like this again.”
Sehun raised a brow. “If I had known that all it took for you to come around was me sitting on a bridge, smoking, then I would’ve done this a long time ago.”
Luhan gave Sehun a dark frown. “You—If I fucking hear about you high as fuck on pills and that shit, again, I’ll throw you over a fucking bridge myself.”
“Throw me over one once you give me those answers.”
Luhan stared at him for a moment before sighing. He pivoted on his heel, heading back to the cab he left in the traffic jam. “Let’s go back to the apartment, then. I’ll—”
“What about that guy?” Sehun asked, walking to catch up.
“Who? Xiumin? He’ll be fine. We’re just going to talk anyways.”
Sehun grabbed Luhan by the hand. “Yeah, okay. We’ll talk, but what if things escalate?”
“Escalate to what? Fighting?” Luhan asked, turning his head to give Sehun a look.
“Sex.”
“Excuse me?” Luhan stopped walking.
“You heard me,” Sehun said, leaving his voice to ring in Luhan’s ears. Shaking his head, Luhan gulped, but before he could talk, Sehun began to drag his body. “Let’s go to a hotel to do this. You’re not leaving a single detail out, either, ‘cause I’m done with your half answers.”
Luhan felt his pulse race. He made a half-ass attempt to reason. “I…I don’t have enough money for a room, Sehun.”
Sehun turned his head to his cornered prey. “Luckily for you, I do.”
As part of the on-going actions of his parents through guilt, Baekhyun received money and permission to go to Lotte World over the weekend with a friend. He, at first, didn’t wanna go. He had work to do from the days that he was absent and wanted to get those out of the way, but his parents kept nagging at him to “have fun” and to “let loose” for once. Baekhyun could only keep his mouth shut. His parents had no idea…
The first choice of a friend was Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo was busy. Baekhyun felt like killing Kai—even though Kyungsoo never specified why he was busy, Baekhyun already knew. The second choice was Suho, but he kindly decline saying how he needed to study during the weekend. Baekhyun fumed. He needed to do school-related work too, but apparently, to his parents, his social life was more important. Okay.
Chanyeol was his third option. Why third? Baekhyun didn’t wanna seem too brash. He already had the entire scenario planned out in his head. He’d walk up to the idiot, tell him what was happening, and casually ask if he wanted to go. Then, the idiot would say—
“Sorry, Baek,” Chanyeol said, giving Baekhyun a sad smile. “My parents are coming back from China this weekend. I have to go meet with them and do all this stupid shit.” When he saw Baekhyun’s features twitch, Chanyeol was quick to lift his vixen’s face up to his. “Sad that we won’t be able to fuck it out in the restroom at that amusement park?”
Baekhyun frowned and pulled his face away from Chanyeol’s hold. “Gross.” He sighed. “Never mind, I’ll go ask someone else.”
“As long as it’s not Lay, Baek.”
“Yeah, okay,” Baekhyun said.
“I’m serious.”
“Okay.”
From: Baekhyun
Hey.
From: Lay
Hey, there. What’s going on?
From: Baekhyun
So, this weekend, are you free?
From: Lay
Yep. If I’m not, I could clear it for you.
From: Baekhyun
Well, if you’re free, I was wondering if you wanted to go to that amusement park with me—Lotte World, you know.
From: Lay
I’ve been there a billion times before.
Baekhyun stared at the text feeling awkward. He was about to apologize, but he got a second text.
From: Lay
But it’s always better going with someone just for the hell of it. Why not? I’m in.
From: Baekhyun
Really? Cool.
Baekhyun felt stupid with his reply. He felt lame. Eh…
From: Lay
So is this like a date? Are we going behind Park’s back? ;)
Baekhyun fumbled with his fingers.
From: Lay
I’m kidding, Byun. Haha, we’re just going as friends, I know. But I’m serious about that Park thing. He doesn’t know, does he?
From: Baekhyun
Eh, he won’t know. Besides, my parents said I should take a friend. You’re a friend, aren’t you?
It took a while for Baekhyun to get a reply. Odd as it was since Lay always answered immediately.
From: Lay
Do you really consider me to be a friend?
From: Baekhyun
Yeah.
From: Lay
Thanks, Byun. So I’ll be seeing you this weekend, then.
From: Baekhyun
Get up early. We’re getting there the moment they open.
From: Lay
Gotcha.
From: Baekhyun
Ok. I’m gonna go to bed, now. You should do the same.
From: Lay
Night.
From: Baekhyun
Ok.
Baekhyun stared at the sent text. He wrote the “Ok” automatically and nothing registered in his mind that he should’ve replied with a “Good-night” instead.
[[previous chapter]] [[next chapter]]